Absence Makes the Heart Go Fonder? Or Wander?

Well, this is really a million dollar question for many couples and singles.
LDR or long distance relationships - does it really work? Some people would say no and some would say yes.

Someone told me it does not work. She was in a relationship with a man, seldom spent quality time with him and preserved her purity until it ended after 10 long years. He said he got someone else pregnant. Few days ago, my roommate who’s been in 3 years LDR told me they broke up. She has not yet recovered. (No wonder why for couple of weeks now she’s been staying late every night because she couldn’t sleep.)

Is there a secret to a lasting relationship? Many believe it is physical intimacy. Is it?
LDR, I believe, requires a lot more effort than the regular one. You might ask, “Hey, do you have the right to say something about this subject?” And I would say “yes” and “let us see”. I have yet to come up with the complete list of answers on what keeps it working if it does really work.
I totally disagree that physical intimacy is the ultimate secret to a successful relationship as many people believe in. In fact, I’ve seen many relationships outside marriage that are falling apart because of intimacy. It does play an important role within marriage but outside marriage, it puts the relationship more vulnerable and prone to separation. You’d say,”Oh, it all depends on the level of commitment and love.” But my questions are: “How do you define love?” and “How deep a ‘deep commitment’ is?” Another question is: What motivates a man to pursue a woman if he’s getting all the benefits of marriage?

Ironically, I’m surrounded with friends having failed LDRs. One friend of mine told me after interviewing several male OFWs that men really have a problem with fidelity. This information really causes doubts and fears especially those who are in this situation.

But so far, it is true, as the saying goes, that it takes two to tango. Both parties should cooperate and exert the effort to keep the lines of communication open and the relationship ongoing. Finally, I would say a God-centered relationship that is built on friendship, mutual trust, love & commitment guarantees a successful relationship whether LDR or not.
So, does LDR really work? I would say the answer is yes and no.

New superhero WALL-E!!!

WALL-E, short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter, Earth-Class is a humble, cute and adorable trash-compacting robot with sort of emotions. When I saw the trailer, I thought the setting will remain on that wasteland filled with garbage which is the Planet Earth after 700 years, abandoned by human beings who went out to live outside on spaceship.

WALL-E’s lonely life began to transform when EVA (Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) came into the picture. Indeed, it was a spectacular film! There was very little dialogue especially at the first part of the movie and yet it’s amazing how emotions were communicated and demonstrated. It was a simple story yet delivers a great message. It supports the save-the-earth and “go green” campaigns and movements. Oh yes, I believe it is possible that men’s creation may rule us in the future. We may be controlled and become servants of our own inventions. We can be very dependent and engrossed with technology and forget or neglect more important things in life.

So before you throw your trash out in the street, remember Wall-E, a simple robot who made a difference. Like Wall-E, let's save the earth and go green! :-)

Just few stupid thoughts:
1. Though we know that WALL-E & EVA lived happily ever after, I wonder how they will have their offspring someday.
2. How difficult it must be for M-O to do its job on Planet Earth. Remember that maintenance robot that cleans the dirt and inspects everything for foreign contaminants?

Ambush Interview

Honestly, it’s exhausting to share your story over and over again. I’m sure, many of you would agree. I usually attend funerals and one thing I always make sure of is to keep quiet instead of asking the family members who are left behind unless they open up. I know how exhausting it is as they keep on telling the same story if you know what I mean. ..

I could not remember how many times I was asked about what exactly happened to me and what the details were. That morning after the incident, every time someone would come into the office (each one has different work schedule) I was being asked and it initially helped me to open up. That included the nurses and the security group when I was interviewed to get my statement. When time came for the company doctor’s turn, I was tired. I wanted to record everything and do playback every time somebody else would ask (one reason why I blogged my story so I could just point them here at my website if they want to know the whole story). When I came home, I had to tell my family every detail. It is different if you are sharing it to someone who loves you because you know they are concerned and they really care.

I thought I’m done already in telling my story to people until yesterday afternoon. I went to visit my friend in my old apartment where I used to live (about 2 years ago). To my surprise, a group of people swarmed around me and did ambush interview! Yes, they knew about it. They live just right across the police station where the incident was reported. They were talking out loud, all at the same time, asking me questions. Some were giving their comments and opinions as if they were there and witnessed the incident. One sounded as if it was my fault! I really felt bad and wanted to freak out, cry and shout “Shut up!!!” I could feel they were just interested about the news and they really did not care about me. I just knew one person there, the one who initially greeted me. She announced it to the group that I was “the victim” and so everybody came and surrounded me.

I really wanted to cry! It didn’t feel good to be the center of a very loud discussion. If you were there, you would think there was a fight going on. Now I understand why some movie actresses freak out or cry during ambush interviews and pres cons… Yes, it’s true! Especially if they are being accused or they are being interrogated about a bad rumor. Being sensitive is what most people need to practice.

Cheerleaders?

Oh yes, these cute little creatures amused me during those times of distress and boredom.

Aren’t they lovely?

Due to insistent public demand, here they are:

You might ask why these pics were taken in the midst of my agony. Got 4 reasons for that:
1. My eldest brother and his wife wanted to send those pics to our favorite cousin and her husband (the one who first heard the news from me because he was online – thanks to Internet technology and Yahoo). I did not know how to get in touch with my family back home since I didn’t have a hard copy of their contact numbers. So the news came all the way from Hawaii to my family in Pangasinan.
2. For my “honeybunch” who wanted to see pictures of these since he was also out of the country. He was the first one to call me. :-)
3. For my HMO in case they run into problems. Well, the hospital could not start accommodating me because my HMO was requiring a lot like police report, etc. I suppose they wanted me to go out of the hospital’s emergency room in Dagupan and go back to Manila to get the police report and all that. Got their approval after few hours of waiting in pain and several phone calls that would not get through. I was asked to prepare incident report (as if I was still at work). So got those pictures taken in case they would ask for additional requirements or proof.
4. I needed then to avail of sick leaves for more than a week. Got proof in case of discrepancies or disapproval of my leave application. Thanks to our Senior Manager and my Supervisor!

A horrible nightmare… but thank God I am alive!

I walked on that same road this morning to see if I can face my fear… Yes, I was able to without rapid heartbeats. But all the memories came back no matter how hard I resisted. I must admit I began to feel weak as if I was going to faint. I’ve been struggling with fear every time I go outside alone especially when I see red cars passing by. Sad thing is there are no instances each day when I don’t get to see red cars and they are everywhere, they are all around me. This has been going on for weeks now since that incident happened.

Yes, I was mugged. Almost 3 weeks ago, around 3:40AM, I was on my way to work when a red car passed by and was going on the same direction. I was walking alone as I usually do for months now and it was not very dark as there were street lights around when the car suddenly made a U-turn just before reaching the guard house at the entrance of the “city”. It made its way on the center of the road and suddenly went to my direction. Without changing its speed, a hand came out of the car window and snatched my shoulder bag. It was so swift that I could not even let go of my bag so I was dragged off along the road which was not so smooth. With my eyes open, I could see what was going on as I was being dragged along. I was able to release my hold when my bag tore off. I could see that strong hand holding my bag up in the air with pride. I did not see the car plate if there was any as I was lying on the road.
I managed to get up quickly and ran towards the group of vendors on the other side of the road who were preparing their stuff. I asked if they got the plate number. The car ran too fast that the vendors were clueless as they did not even know what had happened. They said they just saw me lying on the road not knowing the reason (Could you imagine what they were thinking? – maybe they thought I was just sleepy or drunk!). I thought it was just a bad dream until I began to feel the pain on my arms, knees and tummy side. I did not shout, shake, cry or feel my heart beating fast. I was still normal. I saw my wounds bleeding and thoughts were rushing in my mind. One was, I needed to get to the office as quickly as I can as I no longer have my company ID and proximity, otherwise I’ll be late and my supervisor won’t be convinced that I really made it on time. Could you imagine I was still thinking about my work! Not to mention, I’ve been maintaining my perfect attendance record since January of 2008 – no absences, leaves or tardiness! Second thought was, I needed to run away and take the hidden short cuts to get to the office else the robbers might think of coming back and kill me. They can afford to have a very nice car, they can afford carrying guns for their self-defense considering the kind of “job” that they have! Another thought was – I needed to get to the clinic in the office for first aid. I could feel the wounds bleeding and stinging. Yes, I managed to run and put my jacket on to hide my wounds still thanking God because I am alive and whole. Before, I just get to watch similar incidents on TV. I could not believe it happened to me! But thank God I am alive! I was not kidnapped, raped, shot, stabbed or killed (take note for those who heard a different story), which actually happens in this city and reported on the news. It could have been worse so I should still be thankful. While running, I’ve also thought of Angelina Jolie in her latest movie that I watched – Wanted. I wondered why movie actors and actresses don’t get bruises and wounds from doing stunts like what I got! :-)

Anyway, so I was given first aid and the news spread quickly in the office and in my neighborhood. It did not feel good that I became instantly popular (also thought of putting my name on the Walk of Fame here in Eastwood City). I did not cry but could still smile, laugh and crack jokes but I knew it will surely sink in once I’m alone. So I thought I should be with my family immediately. True enough, it did occur to me when I was in the hospital when the nurses were trying to peel away the dirty gauze from my skin to cleanse the wounds. And it occurred again the next day when I was home and I began to feel the pain that was getting worse every minute. I could hardly move. I knew exactly now how it feels to be disabled, invalid and inutile and I did not like it. I could not get up from bed by myself or even lift a glass of water. Every part of my body was painful. Insects were following my wounds despite constant cleansing. I could not help but cry because of the physical and emotional pain. I felt I was violated and disrespected. I was disabled yet I knew it was only temporary. It was painful but I never questioned God why it happened to me because it can happen to anyone no matter how careful we are. Thank God it did not happen to any family member or friends.

Now I’m slowly recovering from both physical and emotional scars. After that horrible experience, I still thank God for everything especially my life with Him, my family and friends. I still believe that because of Him, life is beautiful and that will never change.

Passion World Tour

Last night was really amazing! The conference was really a WOW! The worship, the message and the prayer time were altogether powerful. Indeed, God was there. Chris Tomlin and the instrumentalists really demonstrated the meaning of true worship. Humility was there. No wall of pride or whatsoever. They were not performing. They were really worshiping! We all felt God’s presence inside the stadium. I will never forget the experience. Nearly 8000 people were there. And it was really a powerful time of worship and prayer.
I was scared at first because there were too many people, worried that there were too many arms, bodies and stuff that may hit my wounded arms. (Will explain how I got these wounds in my next post.) Thank God I was able to come.
The message was touching. Indeed, my perspective about God has changed. I felt His genuine love. Louie shared about a 22-year old lady whose life has been changed, from a messed life to a changed life. He actually read the lady’s journal entries. How that journal got into Louie’s hands was really amazing! God’s grace was written in that journal which is now being spread all over the world. How wonderful it is that a young woman’s life can be used of God to reach out to different people around the globe. Her life was not a waste. Her absence here on earth, which is eternal presence with the Almighty One, is a continuing story of God’s amazing grace.