Well, this is really a million dollar question for many couples and singles.
LDR or long distance relationships - does it really work? Some people would say no and some would say yes.
Someone told me it does not work. She was in a relationship with a man, seldom spent quality time with him and preserved her purity until it ended after 10 long years. He said he got someone else pregnant. Few days ago, my roommate who’s been in 3 years LDR told me they broke up. She has not yet recovered. (No wonder why for couple of weeks now she’s been staying late every night because she couldn’t sleep.)
Is there a secret to a lasting relationship? Many believe it is physical intimacy. Is it?
LDR, I believe, requires a lot more effort than the regular one. You might ask, “Hey, do you have the right to say something about this subject?” And I would say “yes” and “let us see”. I have yet to come up with the complete list of answers on what keeps it working if it does really work.
I totally disagree that physical intimacy is the ultimate secret to a successful relationship as many people believe in. In fact, I’ve seen many relationships outside marriage that are falling apart because of intimacy. It does play an important role within marriage but outside marriage, it puts the relationship more vulnerable and prone to separation. You’d say,”Oh, it all depends on the level of commitment and love.” But my questions are: “How do you define love?” and “How deep a ‘deep commitment’ is?” Another question is: What motivates a man to pursue a woman if he’s getting all the benefits of marriage?
Ironically, I’m surrounded with friends having failed LDRs. One friend of mine told me after interviewing several male OFWs that men really have a problem with fidelity. This information really causes doubts and fears especially those who are in this situation.
But so far, it is true, as the saying goes, that it takes two to tango. Both parties should cooperate and exert the effort to keep the lines of communication open and the relationship ongoing. Finally, I would say a God-centered relationship that is built on friendship, mutual trust, love & commitment guarantees a successful relationship whether LDR or not.
So, does LDR really work? I would say the answer is yes and no.
2 comments:
Hmmm??? LDR huh? Well I am assumming your blog is intended for single man and woman yet have a love commitment going on but somehow will part ways for some valid reasons say one has to move abroad or any of that nature. I'd say for me it all depends on 3 big Cs
1. CULTURE- I said culture because it's one of the driving and building force that keeps one's life moving. Let's say Most Asian people (due to poverty level) are culturally more prone to be a little bit more patient and are willing to sacrifice to be away from love ones who go abroad to earn a living for the entire family! Whereas in some other contients such as North America, Europe just to name a couple, where poverty level is not as severe as compared with some asian countries LDR is in my opinion does not work with them. Majority or most of them wont commit to such thing because it's not built in them culturally, people in such continents does not have to go away from home abroad to earn a living. So relationship to them are more on the tangible side. It has to be here physically
2. COMMITMENT-Now this is a big word and it is something that Culture can't overcome. Reason is it is a dicision one has to make and build within. This one usually put to test one's personality. You find this man or a woman in your life..do nor let him or her go..you will regret for the reat of your life. A committed person is driven by his or her passion in life not to mention his or her commitment to love. For two person who are really committed to each other they will defy LDR, SDR, NDR (no distance at all..:-)..time and distance does not matter to a commited loving person.
3. COMMUNICATE-One of the biggest hurdle to overcome in all kind of relationship in the world is the lack of ability to communicate well. If you think about it is why people hate and kill each other due to lack of good communications. Want to build a long lasting raltionship? learn the art of communicating to your love ones. It's not easy but it's worth trying though. It is not always perfect but it is worth trying.
So there you have a tripple dose of Cs to build your relationship stamina to fight off external oxidant that will try to destroy ur love immune sytem.
yeah! take it from someone who overcame LDR challenges in 4 years... :-)
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